The paper proposed for discussion was a report on the study of nature and pathophysiological manifestations of Alzheimer’s disease as a form of patient neurodegenerative conditions. The paper is a structured material, containing a clear introduction, the main body, and a generalizing conclusion. More specifically, the main body of the report describes in great detail the critical biochemical mechanisms that determine the development of Alzheimer’s disease and summarizes key findings regarding risk factors and available therapies. The amyloid hypothesis is recognized as the central version of disease development, with cholesterol cited as a biomarker of pathological development that is credible. Thus, the entire material is a valuable and relevant text that meets the learning objectives and shows a high level of student awareness and competence of the issue under study.
Although the discussed work indicates a high level of knowledge of the author on the problem posed, there are some problems in the report related to the literary style of presentation, formats, and the general perception of the entire material. These include the following points, which could be revised to achieve a higher style of academic writing:
There is no statement of purpose or objectives as such in the report. Typically, the introduction section ends with a clear statement of the thesis statement and a summary of the purpose of the entire material so that the reader can determine in advance whether reading the entire material will meet their expectations. In fact, this report lacks any statement of purpose, and therefore it is not entirely clear what precisely the author will discuss in the following paragraphs.
There is a severe problem with the use of citations. It is likely that the author under discussion uses either the APA or Harvard as guidelines for citing sources, but the in-text citations do not justify these rules. In particular, the author’s last name and year of publication given in parentheses should be separated by a comma like this: (Rivera, 2018). Otherwise, an apparent contradiction is created between the written style and that stated in the assignment.
In addition, the use of quotations seems somewhat excessive. Even in the first paragraph of the introduction, the author uses six in-text citations for three authors with a difference of literally one or two sentences. Such citations seem redundant and distracting from the facts being cited, so either the word order should be reconsidered, or the repeated citations should be abandoned if the sentences are placed next to each other.
At the same time, any style of academic writing confirms that a paragraph should contain introductory and summarizing sentences that keep the reader’s attention. In this text, the author began and ended the paragraph several times with a statement of facts with in-text citation of sources, which is not a competent solution. Then the addition of a topic and concluding sentences should be considered.
Key information about the biochemical mechanisms of Alzheimer’s disease is presented in an accessible and descriptive manner, but the treatment of the figures proves confusing. Indeed, the problem is inappropriate captions for the figures, as two images at once are identically numbered but differ in the content illustrated.
In addition, the drawings to this paper are a critical part, effectively complementing and simplifying the understanding of the complex meaning of the biochemical mechanisms responsible for the development of the disease. For this reason, they should be brought out separately rather than placed within the text, and they should be made more prominent.
The paragraphs discussed give the overall impression of an unfinished work and of a draft still worth working on, although the meaning presented meets the academic goals of teaching. For this reason, it is suggested that the author consider correcting the text according to the list above. This will allow the material to become a complete, full-fledged, and stylistically competent work.